okay i did it so excited

So this weekend i went on my first date since i married my ex. It was so nice. Well kind of a date. it was cool. our kids had fun together. I enjoyed him. He was so sweet. very compasionate. A man in charge of his own life and capable of controling others in a positive way. He's calm and rarely seems to raise his voice. Stricked but kind. Very gentle. And i loved the way he smiles. the cute lines that appear around his hazel eyes. I adore the white hairs on his head that he tries to hide. So cute. And i love his gotee. Clean cute but elegant. We had such a good time. we didnt do much but we didnt have too. It was still enjoyable. We just watched tv and watch the kids play and talked and just relaxed.
I dont know where this might lead us or what i am to him if anything, but i hate to say it, if he doesnt want to see me anymore i would be truely sad. Im trying to hard to slow myself down, because i dont want to get lost in the kayoss and not keep my head on straight. But he is so wonderful. Am i seeing him for him or am i see what i want to see. I dont know. But for now I'll take what he gives me, and i'll enjoy every bit of it. Y couldnt it be like this the past 9 years. I really was cheated.