Mothers should be MOTHERS!!!
I thought I know which way to go. A door had opened and I could work full-time, but then I encounter a problem on the way. Maybe that is not a door for me. Today someone knocked at the babysitters door. Man Said is this yours. The babysitter look down then back at the other children. Surprised and upset she said yes. My son was found outside. It was around 50 something outside. I hope and he was near a busy road. WHen I walked in she said the door is locked because that Asshole went outside today. And she told me the story. That Asshole. Are you blaming my 2 year old son. Where were you when that Asshole was opening the door and going outside. She only had my 2 boys and 1 other boy. She didn't even know he was gone. Then while we were talking he got into the pills on the kitchen table luckly he only got the cranberry fruit pills. I said he can open bottles too. SO you have to put these up. I dont say anything because she is family. But I wont be taking my kids back. My husbands mother once watched my son and he fell in the little pool. And my littlest sister let him fall in the fish pond. Sorry but mess up and I don't let you watch my kids.
Now I dont know what to do. Do i trust my kids at a daycare or stay home. I put up an advertisment to babysit at my house but no one has called.
Maybe a mother should be a mother. I should be at home watching my own kids.
My husband has givin me another chance to live with him. Let the apartment go and move in with me. He says. No I want to be here. I need to be here. He doesn't want to help if I don't want to live with him. What will I do? let my kids die or get a job. Give up all the money I put in to live with my husband and chance the bad part of him coming out again. I don't really have to have a job yet. I guess. I just have to find a way to pay everything with what little I get each month.
Im just so upset. This should never have happened.
Today Grandma said my eyes looked tired. what does that mean. First someone asked me if my kids when to middle school when I was working at the middle school and then she says my eyes. look tired. I am tired. I don't sleep anymore. I lonely I need lovin. I want my husband but don't trust him. my kids are up all night it takes 2 hours for me to get them to bed. I get up very early. And it is not getting any better or easier. Yeah im tired but do I have to look it. I hate being me sometimes.
Big al is in the high chair he is turned around with his head down. I think hes sleeping. I'll have to get the camera so you can see. But too bad I can't download it because something is wrong with computer. B said he would look at it but hasn't yet. Something about a trojan horse keeps popping up.
Im going to take my anger out on the laundry that needs folded and put away.
Oh yeah wanted to add goals that I have reach.
1. Go to laundry mat with three little boys. 100% passed.
I finished drying 3 loads of laundry at the laundry mat with all three boys. NO problems.
2. get own place. 100% passed but hating it somewhat. but liking it at the same time.
A few future goals...
1. Get a new vehicle. Mine has had enough. Over heats for not reason. ugly as hell. Window wipers wont work or wont stop when they do work, shuts down while you are driving then immediately turns on again
2. Lose 30 pounds before New Year eve.
3. Work out differences with husband.
4. Get healthy!!!
5. Save up good amount to get a house. (very far in the future)
posted by mel @ 11:59 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
People mess up. No one is perfect. Agreed she shouldn't have called your son an asshole that was completely out of line. I am a damn good mother, I take very good care of my kids and it happens to me. Just yesterday my youngest daughter took off twice. She is three. I had no clue until I couldnt find her, and I was only out of the room a couple minutes both times, doing laundry, and trying to nurse the baby. She was gone, it took about 10-15 minutes or more to find her both times. I almost called the police the second. Kids can be sneaky, you shouldn't completely blame her. If I had someone willing to watch all four of my children and they were asfe and at a decent price and I got offered a job, I would take it. Accidents happen, she now knows she needs to wtch him more closely or have him in her sights at all times. If you only give people once chance why aare you thinking of giving Brian another one? Why did you put up with years of bullshit letting him hurt you? Why let your sons see that? That is hurting them too. If you guys aren't safe with Brian why go back? Qhy give him that second chance, violence like this just escalates, he could possibly Kill you, he already almost did. You are just punishing yourself. If you want someone perfect then your kids will never be with anyone. Anymore a mom can't just stay at home not a single mom anyway. If you want Brian back then go to him, if you don't then don't. You can either trust him or you can't. Without trust there is no relationship...not a successful one at least. I hope this doesnt seem mean, just some questions going hrough my head and if that one thing is about Brian, he is a sick and disgusting pervert and I can't believe you let him have anything to do with children...if not then I apologize for that. Anyway I hope you don't take this negatively. I am not tryin to sound bitchy. I'm just worried about ya.
I know that brian is not good. I don't want to go back to him. I told him I like having my own place and he's nicer when we are not always together. I don't have to worry because I have sons. If I had a daughter, I would not let her see him. But I have sons. I have been thinking about switching babysitters for a while. J says shes not nice to us. He hates spankings. But you can't take chances when its your child's life. She has been going seenile for a while. I have noticed she doesn't remember anything. I think she is turning into my Alztimer grandmother who called at 2 in the morning and throught the answering machine had abducted the family and wanted them back so she could go grocery shopping. She is starting to move that way. I think it is time to retire her as a babysitter.I told her very nicely I am not angry with her. I was very kind when she told him what happen. I didn't even yell at her for calling him names. I told her I forgive you and I will start watching my own children. She told me that is best and I should have my cuz what them.
And it wasn't that I gave brian chances. it was I was to scared to leave. It wasn't about him it was about my own fears. besides the police officer said he had the right to do what he has done. He's my HUSBAND. So it's not against the law in Brazil. he can even beat my kids if he chooses too. HE'S YOUR HUSBAND! the policeman said with a confused upset look when I pressed charges.
It is really nice that someone can talk about someone else behind there backs I wish that someone would grow up and be an adult like they are suppose to be. But I guess some people never change because She still does not have a job to support her children and she wants to leave it up to everyone else. All I can say is take responsibility for your own actions Bitch and you know who this is.....
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