Any Thing But a Prank Call
Today I got in a big fight with Brian. he gave the word. No more us. The tears just keep falling. I am trying to keep busy but can't find away around the pain.
I grabbed the laptop. Today is the day. TODAY IS THE DAY!!! There it was a stranger's phone number looking back at me. Just call it I thought. Brian's voice in my head tried to discourage me. I had picked a name out of hundreds of names. but it felt right. No phone number or address. On the side it listed nearest relatives and every place this person had lived in the last 5 years.
So I looked up the relatives phone number. There I was with the stranger's number. I felt sick but forced myself to dial the long phone number. As I memorized the name and husbands name I tried to think what to say. Too late after one ring someone said Hello. 12 years ago me and Jackie would have replied Is your refridgerator running? Well you better go catch it. But today this phone call was different.
I barely got out a hi is B or J there. No the young man answered. So I struggled with the second question. Do you know if they have a daughter named _____. He said yes she's my step sister. Is she 26 or 27 years old. Yes around there. Is your family military? He paused and said yeah my dad was in the navy. You dont remember me you were very little is there a way I can get a hold of your sister. Sure I'll give you her cell number.
Courage. Have courage. I dialed the number. It rang. Then a familiar voice picked up but it had aged some. Hi I told her my madan name. Do you remember me? She was quite for a second then I realized she was laughing and in shock? She told me she had found my letter recently and was wondering about me too.
D I found her. I found Tanya. You many not remember her. But she loved you a lot. That's why she alway let you hang out with us. I'm sure you remember. Well I found her. It took all I had not to burst into tears. I couldn't believe after years of looking I had found her. She was like one of my sisters. She went everywhere wtih us. even called our mom mom. And here she was talking to me. I found out she has 3 year old twin little girls. And she is doing fine. It felt so good to talk to her again. After 14 years or so, she was where she had always been. I just had misplaced all her info.
Suddenly I shot back to the day I stood alone and watch the van leave. I was so heart broken when she had to move. I missed her everyday. Once we had always been together and then she was gone.
These memories made me realize I had been so mean to my sister. I left D out a lot. Which is probably why I want allowed to talk to her in high school. It just took growing up to realize that I love all my siblings we just are all so very different.
2 Comments:
Mel.
I love you so much.
I think you are one the strongest, most amazing people I know.
I'm sorry for all the stuff we went through in high school. I'm sorry for all the pain you have been through over the last 10 years. I hope that time will heal your wounds and ease your fears. Don't ever let anyone hold you back.
Just remember B. gave you something I may never have. The chance to love a child of your own flesh and blood. I love you sis. Keep your head up. I'm always here.
Sorry. I know You love him. I know this sucks. But you are strong, you have three beautiful boys. It will get easier as time goes, not anytime soon. Its going to be hard, but you will get through it. Just get the help and support of your friends, that is what got me through it, I had amazing friends.
Post a Comment
<< Home